In darkness, we are blind

My vision- gradually became blurry.

Tears filled up my eyes second by second until they overflowed and dripped down my cheeks.

I remained motionless.

Staring blankly at my bedroom ceiling.
Laying on my bed -

alone.

I remembered the overwhelming sensation of realising how empty I felt that day.

• "What's the point of life?"

• "Why does every day feel the same?"

• "Why does everyone around me feel so distant?"

The pain of being unheard.
The agony of people shunning you away because of the negativity and sorrow.
The misery of being helpless and lost in life.

I blinked my eyes to push the tears away but remained in the same position.

• "I know I'm better than this."

• "I know I can achieve whatever I set out to achieve."

• "I know I am going to get her to be mine."

I stood up and washed my face.
Looking at my reflection, I spoke those words:

"It's time to wake up."

I sat down on my chair, grabbed an empty piece of paper and slammed it hard on the table.

'My current goals'

At that very moment, I blacked out; however, my pen was scribbling away.

Bullet points after bullet points -
loading up my cartridge, ready to fire.

Before I knew it, the blank piece of paper was filled with words, and I sprung back into my body.

I sat there -
glancing at the paper.

"I'm going to make this work."

The beginning of my 14 years old life was one of the darkest times I've felt.

And coincidentally, it was the beginning of my self-discovery journey, though I wasn't aware of the term.

Fast forward 15 years, life has been a wild ride to get to where I am today.

• I'm loving my work and every day feels like play to me.

• I'm married to my high school sweetheart.

• I'm preparing for my third international holiday this year to Paris.

I'll always be grateful to my 14-year-old self for taking the first steps into self-discovery.

It brought a lot of clarity into my life;
who would know the simple act of writing your thoughts down on a piece of paper could change your life?

Neither did my 14-year-old self, but stuck to it he did.

I'll continue my story at the next waypoint.

Here's a note in the meantime:

"Our thoughts will remain thoughts until we make them tangible- by writing them down."

Love and Light,

Jason Nile